meme and a SURPRISE!
I wrote a whole emmer-effing post and it got sucked into the vortex. GOLDURN IT.
Second try:
Last thing you burned while cooking? popcorn. I am a gourmet, for sure.
Describe yourself in 3 words: Loyal, sensitive, wary
How long does it take you to get ready for your day? Fifteen minutes--five, in a pinch. And yes, I am Model Material.
Are you a health freak? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...whoo! HA HA! *wipes brow, shakes head* I have to sit down after that one.
How many people have you thought were the one? 3--Chad, Brian, Randy. At different times. Chad, I think was a soulmate. Brian, I married, but I thought he was "the one" for about five seconds after said marriage (stupid fricking 19-year-old brain, is what I'm saying)--thus! Divorce! Randy is most definitely my soulmate, but...you know what? I don't think I've ever fully believed anyone was "The One." I have wanted to believe it, though, with Chad, and later, with Randy. I have wanted to believe Randy is the one for a looooong time, but. My Kath, she is a wise one. Excerpt from a chat last night:
10:06 PM
me: hmmmmm
Katherine: He haunts you because you want to be loved, passionately, fully, exciting. You want it all, the whole cake, baby, and Randy is a sweet slice, but he's not the whole cake.
You've gotta find the whole cake
me: NOW THAT.
Katherine: And eat the WHOLE DAMN THING
me: THAT IS IT.
10:07 PM
me: WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
Katherine: Yep!
me: I AM PRINTING THAT OUT
10:08 PM
Katherine: It is the SAME THING I want too!
I want the whole cake, and I want it now, and waiting is hard, hard, hard. But I can't accept moldy cakes, or cakes with bits missing, or that don't have enough sugar, or whatever their problem is.
I can try to - I can do it for a long time even, but I will never stop wanting that full, beautiful cake that has it all.
So sayeth your Kath.
Can I get an amen? She is the awesomest.
What turns you off about the opposite sex? OMG. Condescending, patronizing, attitudinious. Fuck. Off.
What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Camry. Her name is Lucy.
Favorite thing to toast to? I don't. Too much medication, I drink to get drunk (alcohol tastes NASTY. YES IT DOES TOO), it never lasts long enough, I always makeand the aftermath is not worth it.
What celebrity would you have coffee with? Kate Hudson, because she seems like a fun gal.
What celebrity would you not have sex with? Umm...all of them. I don't tend to screw strangers. WTF.
What is the main ring tone on your cell? It's a soft ring with a ringy echo. I don't like ringtones, but I would like to record my nephew saying, "Doooooooon't!" and make that my ring, because that? That is some funny shit.
What were you doing at midnight last night? Agonizing about whether or not I should call in sick.
Last TV show you watched? Friends.
Who is your best friend? Randy, Katherine, Angi, Debbie...no particular order, they are all irreplaceable.
Who in your family do you get along with? Just about everyone...I try, at least. I won't go into any particulars here.
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My phone is way the hell on the other side of the house. I'll take a wild guess and say Heather or Randy.
When/Where was the last place you traveled? Oh good Lord. I have no clue. Hell? (Hellleeeew, Miss MELODRAMA)
How many times have you been in love? Twice. Chad, then Randy.
How old will you be in 10 years? 21! Because I have decided I am now going back in time! Thankyew.
What did the last text message you received on your cell say? Probably something dirty from Randy, because he's really the only person who texts me.
What is a saying you say a lot? "Ugh. Argh. Blech." (I am so positive, no?) Also, "Oh good Lord" and "Good grief."
Sinful snacking weakness? Almost anything fried or cheesy. I wonder why I am fat? Hmm.
Ever run out of gas? No, I am anal about the gas. No pun intended.
Ever been to Europe? No, but I have always wanted to go to Ireland. There are faeries there! And my Katherine will go with me when I do, because it's the faeries that brought us together.
What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for a day? Investigate the package. You know, size, functionality, etc.
Total jail time? Are you kidding me? I am a scaredy-cat wussy-pants. There hath been no jail for moi.
In your cd player right now? Car. Mix CD. All songs obtained in a completely legal manner.
Something you believe? My mama loves me, and George W Bush is the worst president in the history of ever, and I do not understand how anyone can be a Republican after what he has brought upon us. Be a Republican if you want--far be it for me to judge your political proclivities--but we probably won't see eye to eye on much, won't like each other, and I will never understand you, ever.
What is something you fear? Lots of times, unfortunately, myself. Other than that? Rejection. Loneliness. Humiliation. Sounds fun, yes?
Best time to catch you in a good mood? Depends on the medication and the amount of sleep I've gotten.
Most prized possession? The drugs that keep me sane.
What is one of your pet peeves? Like Katherine says, I don't pet my peeves.
Unhealthy addictions? Food. Oh! And also? Food.
Unhealthy fascinations? Someone from my past.
Favorite sexual position: Um. Hi, family! I am a virgin!
What physical part would you change about yourself? Take away 85% of the fat, the bump off of the bridge of my nose, a boob reduction/lift and give me some semblance of a chin. I don't ask much.
Soft sensual sex or porn star sex? Again. Hi! Virgin!
Would you go on a date with someone you met online? Who knows. I haven't dated in ten years.
Work attire? Black pants, black coat, white/cream shirt.
What is your best physical feature? My eyes, and I have also been told I have a nice smile.
Do you think anyone has actually read this far? Well, if you have, you are awarded with....AN ENTRY!
I'm feeling better, mentally/emotionally, since my last post. Turns out that the knots/upset stomach were actually not due to depression, but to the Plague. Y'all. This is the third time this year I've gotten the stomach bug. W! T! F!
So I got up for work yesterday morning, began my toilette, and promptly {censored} and {censored}. I thought, well, HELL. So, so sososo sick. I decided to try to go to work, since it was too late to call in. I wondered if I would make it (that is never good). I kept looking for places to pull over in case I needed to {censored}. I did manage to get to work, crawl up the hill, smile wanly and wave at the front desk people before going into the posh bathroom and desecrating it for what felt like five thousand hours (this has resulted in literal sore muscles. Ah, retching! The workout for the new millenium!). Then, pale, sweaty and clammy, I went up to them and said, "I know this should be common sense, but I think I have a stomach virus" and they said "GO HOME" so I did, where I spent the rest of the day intermittently re-reading Bitter is the New Black ("Yes, HAW HAW HAW, aren't all fat people funny?" gets me EVERY TIME) and dozing/falling into a coma and NOT EATING, because EW, what is that, FOOD? BLARGH.
I contemplated not going into work this morning. I just got re-hired a week ago, I did not feel that I could miss two days in a row this soon if at all possible. I did go in, and it SUCKED, but besides feeling like the crusty bottom of the poo barrel there was really nothing wrong with me. I did take a long nap this afternoon and am off tomorrow, which I shall spend like a lady of leisure, recovering from my bout with the ptomaine and NOT dealing with rich asshats.
Unfortunately, because of aforementioned illness, I cancelled my appointment with Dr. Shrink, and they ever so kindly did not charge me. So I need to call tomorrow and reschedule. I also have to call my friend's therapist because I need therapy. I also need to not be on Zoloft for a myriad of reasons. I also need more Klonopin, because hellew, this 1-a-day thing is not going to cut it...I need at least three a day. Don't you wish you were me? It is so fun.
Okay, so this one is not anywhere near as good as the one that got EATEN, but oh well. It's cool outside, there's a plus! (Angi: So, SO sorry about the deluge of snow. GAH. Hugs.)
That's all I've got tonight, folks. Happy Friday.
Second try:
Last thing you burned while cooking? popcorn. I am a gourmet, for sure.
Describe yourself in 3 words: Loyal, sensitive, wary
How long does it take you to get ready for your day? Fifteen minutes--five, in a pinch. And yes, I am Model Material.
Are you a health freak? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...whoo! HA HA! *wipes brow, shakes head* I have to sit down after that one.
How many people have you thought were the one? 3--Chad, Brian, Randy. At different times. Chad, I think was a soulmate. Brian, I married, but I thought he was "the one" for about five seconds after said marriage (stupid fricking 19-year-old brain, is what I'm saying)--thus! Divorce! Randy is most definitely my soulmate, but...you know what? I don't think I've ever fully believed anyone was "The One." I have wanted to believe it, though, with Chad, and later, with Randy. I have wanted to believe Randy is the one for a looooong time, but. My Kath, she is a wise one. Excerpt from a chat last night:
10:06 PM
me: hmmmmm
Katherine: He haunts you because you want to be loved, passionately, fully, exciting. You want it all, the whole cake, baby, and Randy is a sweet slice, but he's not the whole cake.
You've gotta find the whole cake
me: NOW THAT.
Katherine: And eat the WHOLE DAMN THING
me: THAT IS IT.
10:07 PM
me: WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
Katherine: Yep!
me: I AM PRINTING THAT OUT
10:08 PM
Katherine: It is the SAME THING I want too!
I want the whole cake, and I want it now, and waiting is hard, hard, hard. But I can't accept moldy cakes, or cakes with bits missing, or that don't have enough sugar, or whatever their problem is.
I can try to - I can do it for a long time even, but I will never stop wanting that full, beautiful cake that has it all.
So sayeth your Kath.
Can I get an amen? She is the awesomest.
What turns you off about the opposite sex? OMG. Condescending, patronizing, attitudinious. Fuck. Off.
What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Camry. Her name is Lucy.
Favorite thing to toast to? I don't. Too much medication, I drink to get drunk (alcohol tastes NASTY. YES IT DOES TOO), it never lasts long enough, I always makeand the aftermath is not worth it.
What celebrity would you have coffee with? Kate Hudson, because she seems like a fun gal.
What celebrity would you not have sex with? Umm...all of them. I don't tend to screw strangers. WTF.
What is the main ring tone on your cell? It's a soft ring with a ringy echo. I don't like ringtones, but I would like to record my nephew saying, "Doooooooon't!" and make that my ring, because that? That is some funny shit.
What were you doing at midnight last night? Agonizing about whether or not I should call in sick.
Last TV show you watched? Friends.
Who is your best friend? Randy, Katherine, Angi, Debbie...no particular order, they are all irreplaceable.
Who in your family do you get along with? Just about everyone...I try, at least. I won't go into any particulars here.
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My phone is way the hell on the other side of the house. I'll take a wild guess and say Heather or Randy.
When/Where was the last place you traveled? Oh good Lord. I have no clue. Hell? (Hellleeeew, Miss MELODRAMA)
How many times have you been in love? Twice. Chad, then Randy.
How old will you be in 10 years? 21! Because I have decided I am now going back in time! Thankyew.
What did the last text message you received on your cell say? Probably something dirty from Randy, because he's really the only person who texts me.
What is a saying you say a lot? "Ugh. Argh. Blech." (I am so positive, no?) Also, "Oh good Lord" and "Good grief."
Sinful snacking weakness? Almost anything fried or cheesy. I wonder why I am fat? Hmm.
Ever run out of gas? No, I am anal about the gas. No pun intended.
Ever been to Europe? No, but I have always wanted to go to Ireland. There are faeries there! And my Katherine will go with me when I do, because it's the faeries that brought us together.
What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for a day? Investigate the package. You know, size, functionality, etc.
Total jail time? Are you kidding me? I am a scaredy-cat wussy-pants. There hath been no jail for moi.
In your cd player right now? Car. Mix CD. All songs obtained in a completely legal manner.
Something you believe? My mama loves me, and George W Bush is the worst president in the history of ever, and I do not understand how anyone can be a Republican after what he has brought upon us. Be a Republican if you want--far be it for me to judge your political proclivities--but we probably won't see eye to eye on much, won't like each other, and I will never understand you, ever.
What is something you fear? Lots of times, unfortunately, myself. Other than that? Rejection. Loneliness. Humiliation. Sounds fun, yes?
Best time to catch you in a good mood? Depends on the medication and the amount of sleep I've gotten.
Most prized possession? The drugs that keep me sane.
What is one of your pet peeves? Like Katherine says, I don't pet my peeves.
Unhealthy addictions? Food. Oh! And also? Food.
Unhealthy fascinations? Someone from my past.
Favorite sexual position: Um. Hi, family! I am a virgin!
What physical part would you change about yourself? Take away 85% of the fat, the bump off of the bridge of my nose, a boob reduction/lift and give me some semblance of a chin. I don't ask much.
Soft sensual sex or porn star sex? Again. Hi! Virgin!
Would you go on a date with someone you met online? Who knows. I haven't dated in ten years.
Work attire? Black pants, black coat, white/cream shirt.
What is your best physical feature? My eyes, and I have also been told I have a nice smile.
Do you think anyone has actually read this far? Well, if you have, you are awarded with....AN ENTRY!
I'm feeling better, mentally/emotionally, since my last post. Turns out that the knots/upset stomach were actually not due to depression, but to the Plague. Y'all. This is the third time this year I've gotten the stomach bug. W! T! F!
So I got up for work yesterday morning, began my toilette, and promptly {censored} and {censored}. I thought, well, HELL. So, so sososo sick. I decided to try to go to work, since it was too late to call in. I wondered if I would make it (that is never good). I kept looking for places to pull over in case I needed to {censored}. I did manage to get to work, crawl up the hill, smile wanly and wave at the front desk people before going into the posh bathroom and desecrating it for what felt like five thousand hours (this has resulted in literal sore muscles. Ah, retching! The workout for the new millenium!). Then, pale, sweaty and clammy, I went up to them and said, "I know this should be common sense, but I think I have a stomach virus" and they said "GO HOME" so I did, where I spent the rest of the day intermittently re-reading Bitter is the New Black ("Yes, HAW HAW HAW, aren't all fat people funny?" gets me EVERY TIME) and dozing/falling into a coma and NOT EATING, because EW, what is that, FOOD? BLARGH.
I contemplated not going into work this morning. I just got re-hired a week ago, I did not feel that I could miss two days in a row this soon if at all possible. I did go in, and it SUCKED, but besides feeling like the crusty bottom of the poo barrel there was really nothing wrong with me. I did take a long nap this afternoon and am off tomorrow, which I shall spend like a lady of leisure, recovering from my bout with the ptomaine and NOT dealing with rich asshats.
Unfortunately, because of aforementioned illness, I cancelled my appointment with Dr. Shrink, and they ever so kindly did not charge me. So I need to call tomorrow and reschedule. I also have to call my friend's therapist because I need therapy. I also need to not be on Zoloft for a myriad of reasons. I also need more Klonopin, because hellew, this 1-a-day thing is not going to cut it...I need at least three a day. Don't you wish you were me? It is so fun.
Okay, so this one is not anywhere near as good as the one that got EATEN, but oh well. It's cool outside, there's a plus! (Angi: So, SO sorry about the deluge of snow. GAH. Hugs.)
That's all I've got tonight, folks. Happy Friday.
posted by Lori at
3:31 PM
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