a note to my katherine

Sometimes there's just nothing anybody can say that will make anything better.

If I could take it away, I would. If I could turn back the clock for you, I would. If I could fix it...if I could fix you, I would.

Nobody gets it, do they? That rock that sits in your stomach, on your chest. the knot in your throat, desperately needing it all to go away, and it won't. It sits there, a frillion pound rock, right on your chest, and it crushes, and you can't breathe, and there is nobody who can take that rock off your chest for you. So you don't breathe, and nobody gets that it's killing you.

My wish, since I can't get out from under my own rock, is for you to know, and to feel, and to believe that I understand. This is not melodrama. This is not you or me being weak, or childish, or selfish. I get it. I honestly know how you feel.

I know exactly how you feel.

My heart is breaking for you.

Please know that you are loved. When you are not around, you are missed.

Please sit still and let yourself feel that you are worthwhile, that this is not the end, that your life will go on and it won't be about some old stupid job that barely pays the bills anyway...you are not your job. You are valuable and you are kind and you have become an exceptionally close, dear friend to me faster than anybody ever has, ever.

We are kindred. The faeries brought us together, remember?

I have been aching a lot for myself lately, but tonight, I ache for you.

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears streaming down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down on your face
And I..

Tears streaming down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears streaming down on your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you