read these because I am funny. woot.
Survey UNO:
1. Do you know where your dad is right now?
I think so. He should be at school, forcing little kids to play football.
2. Last time you kissed someone?
About three days ago? I kissed Randy. On the mouth. *gasp*
3. What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
I'm not that innocent, much like Britney, except less trashtacular. I am glad to see she is busting out of the K-Fed Trailerpark Haven, though.
4. What color is your watch?
light blue and medium blue *shocks everyone*
5. Do you like anyone?
No. I hate you all.
6. Are you close to your mom?
Abnormally so. Someday? Someday I will cut the cord.
7. Where do you work?
It's a beautiful Day at {Fabulous Golf Resort}; This is Lori, how may I direct your call? (Yes. I have to say that.)
8. What are you listening to right now?
the phone buzz, myself talk
9. What do you smell like?
lavender and chamomile
10. What color are your pants?
Black
11. Closest thing to your left?
a pen
12. What color is your bedroom flooring?
blue
13. Do you have a chair in your room?
yes
14. Time you were born?
7:19am
15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
no
16. What's your favorite number?
7
17. Do you know someone named Lori?
Yes! ME! WHAT ARE THE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDS?
18. What color is your mom's hair?
Brown, surprisingly enough. After what my brother and I have put her through, you'd think it would be white as snow...but nope. My dad is showing the strain of raising two ungrateful brats with a thinning head of very gray hair sprinkled liberally with white. I know you didn't ask about my dad's hair, but I told you anyway. Deal.
19. Do you have a dog?
No. they are too high-maintenance, and I am a child.
20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
Oh, Lord. Too many. Too embarrassing.
21. When was the last time you went swimming?
Sigh. July? I was so depressed I wanted to drown myself. My parents were fools for letting me get in the water.
22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
Yesterday? The day before? He called me at work to ask me if I like fish. Because he's a tard.
23. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
um...does bible school count? Otherwise...no.
24. Do you play an instrument?
My voice is the only instrument I need. WOOTLE.
25. Do you like fire?
FIAAAAAAH. Yes.
26. Are you allergic to anything?
MOLD. Ebonics. The word "Your" used when the person really means "You're."
27. When was the last time you cried?
Last week while I was telling my mom about the appointment with my therapist and some really, really personal stuff I cannot share here. Otherwise, CYMBALTA ROCKS.
29. Have you ever been to a spa?
Heh, I work at one, dude.
30. Did you take science all four years of high school?
High school was 84 frillion years ago and I do not remember.
31. Do you like butterflies?
Second only to dragonflies/damselflies
33. What is one thing you miss about your past?
If you know me fairly well, then you know
34. Have you ever seen the school counselor?
Yeah, every year for the shejules.
35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
I was one. I always wanted to be one. Now....not so much. Um...yeah, no.
36. What is one thing you have learned about life?
It's not fair, and sometimes you have to do things you really don't want to do. That's two, but I was never good at following directions.
37. Are you jealous of anyone?
not right now
38. Is anyone jealous of you?
no clue
39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
No, but if I ever am, I will punch the little button and sit down and read a book. I ALWAYS carry a book. You just never know.
40. What does your dad call you?
hey you
41. What does your mom call you?
Liz
42. What does you hair look like right now?
horrid, as always
43. Has a friend ever used you?
I suppose, but I basically ask for it.
44. Has anyone recently told you that they like you more than as a friend?
Yes, just after P.E. I was like, whoa. I told Kath, I was like, dude, I don't wanna fuck up the friendship! Plus, like, sometimes he is, like, TOTALLY lame. And also, I heard he's, like, a bad kisser.
45. What have you eaten today?
Sandwiches. Ooooh! And a muffin. And banana bread. Working at a hotel rocks.
46. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Somebody who wanted to be transferred to the spa salon. I obliged.
47. What is your favorite movie?
It changes every year or so...right now it's "She's the Man" because Amanda Bynes is just so cute I want to put her in my pocket and take her home with me.
48. Who was the last person who texted you???
First of all, why the three question marks? Are you very, very concerned about the answer to this query, o strange survey-maker?
Second of all, and to answer the BURNING QUESTION...hrm. Lemme check. It's from Katherine, who said, "Wow your text message just came through" after well over a day. Because Cingular sucks my big toe, that's why.
49. What are you not looking forward to?
Sitting here for the next hour and a half. Training at the front desk on Sunday. Blargh.
50. How are you today?
I guess I'm all right. My back hurts, though. Wah.
Survey DOS:
1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I disintigrated part of a bone in my leg and had to get a plate and screws. Woot! In another, rusty barbed wire tore a chunk out of my ankle.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
An approximately 70-year-old picture of my grandmother at 16 in her prom dress, and a painting of my mother in her wedding attire. What? I don't have sex in there so it doesn't freaking matter.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
black and silver
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
anything but rap, hip hop, olden-days country (blargh), or anybody who does vocal gymnastics, because it sounds really stupid to add fourteen syllables to a three-syllable word. Just sayin'.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
7:19am
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
to weigh 150 pounds with no excess skin.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Jeebies! I just answered these. Cripes. Okay, I miss "Friends." There.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
my bed. it is the most beautiful bed in the world, and the most comfortablest--proof being that I overslept this morning and I didn't even really care, because I got an extra 30 minutes in my bed.
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Christmastime.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
very
11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
no. The dark is your friend, unless you are reading a scary book. Then, yes. And much like Joey Tribbiani, you must put said book in the freezer to keep yourself safe (speaking of Friends).
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
anything lavender
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I definitely like hair. I am almost abnormally attracted to men who have well-kept, long-ish hair but who are not grody or dressed funny. I like anything but stupid hairstyles, really. Like, no dreadlocks, please don't give yourself a mohawk, and don't torture the rest of us with your mullet.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
Oy. The grammar here is so bad I can't answer this question.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
coffee. COFFEE. COFFEE IS THE BEST DRINK IN THE WOOOOOOORLD, and don't you dare argue with me, I will slap your face!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Cheese. It is not pizza without cheese
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
OH THIS IS NOT A FAIR QUESTION FOR A FOOD ADDICT. Jeezy creezy.
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
I don't like to make anyone mad, so I try reeeeeeeeeeeeally hard not to. Therefore, I don't know. How could you be mad at me? What did I do to deserve this? I am an ANGEL.
Seriously, probably my mom. She gets mad at me a lot, because she's a neat freak and I'm ...well, not.
20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
I speak the language of the insane. Join me.
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX):
I don't remember. I'm old. I remember the first gift Randy ever gave me was a rose, and that was nearly ten years ago, so I am going to call that good enough.
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Lord, with all the repeated questions. I like...cheese. He rocks my socks.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
nope
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I like clothes that don't hurt me and cover all my wobbly bits and that are not pink, orange, red, or yellow. Other than that I'm usually okay with whatever.
25. WHAT`S YOUR DREAM CAR?
A French Blue Ford Explorer SportTrac. They don't exist in that color. Thank you.
27. WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR DREAMS?
Having a fabulous husband who loves me more than anyone in the world and then having a family with him. At this point, I don't think it will ever happen, mostly because I have a lot of issues to resolve and a lot of weight to lose first.
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Say it, then show it.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
77
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
I do not care. At all. Not one little tiny bit.
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
Randy's cell phone
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
The telephone. Jesus God, please make it stop.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US?
nope
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Almost anything that is bad for you. I am destined to live a long, healthy life, yes?
36. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
Santa Fe, NM...but I'm good with Austin.
37. FIRST JOB?
Daytime nanny for five kids. It almost killed me and I learned a lot.
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
no, am chicken
39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
Another survey, and answering five badrillion phone calls
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
lap band, nose job, chin implant---then tummy tuck, breast reduction/lift
Why, no, I haven't thought about it...why do you ask?
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Katherine sent it to me at work b/c I am bored
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
eyes
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Take more klonopin
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I want something I can't have, and that is the sad, sad truth.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
Up to three...but I'd be happy with one
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, my great-grandmother Laura
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Only when they're shooting
48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Oh my God. Random.
49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
last week I already said this GODDAMN
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
yes
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Roast beef, but I am not crazy about lunchmeat. The ham lunchmeat with the globules of weird translucent shiny stuff makes me gag.
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
HAH AH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
I am proud (PROUD I TELL YOU) of ALL of my CDs, thank you.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yep
55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
Yes, but I don't do that anymore because I growed up 'n' stuff.
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Yes, though I wish they didn't.
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Cry, write vituperative essays on my blog, write mean letters that I don't send and then find years later and get mad again
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
my father's family's lakehouse on Lake Travis
59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
nope
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I am 31. We didn't have toys back then. I played with sticks in the grass.
61. WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE NUMBERS IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Mom, Randy, Kath
62. EVER BEEN ACCUSED OF HAVING ROAD RAGE?
My mother has accused me of such, but I like to think of it as driving aggressively, because my mom's a backseat driver...just ask my dad, he's still indignant that she honked his horn for him once when someone cut him off; and no, that is not a euphemism for "my parents had sex in the car"--ew.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Only every day of my life, I could not communicate effectively without it.
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
No, that's skareeeeee. I might bonk my head.
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
A firm, round ass.
Just kidding. WHO CARES? There is no accounting for chemistry. I could fall deeply in lust tomorrow with someone I described as being unattractive today.
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Liz, Beth, Lorelei, Aunt Sweetie...those are the current ones. Old ones include Lollypop (don't ask), Lizabelle/Loreye (hi Chad), and Lori-lu (hi Debbie). The newest one is Loriella (hi Katarina).
68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nope
69. WHO IS YOUR CRUSH?
John Corbett, 5-10 years ago. He is a little unfortunate-looking now.
70. WHAT`S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
I am very particular. Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla.
71. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE?
Last week. Then I put out afterwards.
72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? french blue, lavender, sage green
73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW?
none. they all gone. I had de surergery.
74. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
HUGE SIGH. WTF WITH THE REPEAT QUESTIONS.
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Yes. EVERYONE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. HOP TO.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the phone buzzing, the voices in my head
77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
a granola bar
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Somebody who asked for the Crenshaw pro shop. I must admit, it was a scintillating conversation.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
It depends on the person. If he had bright pink eyebrows, I'd notice that first.
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
chasing cars
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE:
my ex-principal, that miserable bitch
82. FAVORITE DRINK?
A frosty glass of icy Diet Pepsi would hit the spot for me quite nicely, thank you.
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
taurus (of course!)
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
football
85. HAIR COLOR?
brown
86. EYE COLOR?
green
87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
no
88. SIBLINGS?
1
89. FAVORITE MONTH?
December
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
oh, gag
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
The Skeleton Key
92. FAV DAY OF THE YEAR?
I don't have a favorite day, but I have a favorite time, and that would be CHRISTMAS. The day is unimportant, but from around December 15 through the new year, I am five kinds of SQUEE! It's like I'm still six.
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
anyone but Randy
94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
winter Winter WINTER
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
I like both, if I know you pretty well. I like kisses only from those I know very, very well. If I don't know you, get your lips the fuck away from my face.
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships. I have never had a one-night stand. I have had a three-week-stand, back when I was a hussy. Does that count?
97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
How in the blue fuck should I know?
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
again
99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Right now I am reading Haunting Olivia. It's mediocre.
100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Probably not. Maybe Randy is. Hi, Randy! I love you!
1. Do you know where your dad is right now?
I think so. He should be at school, forcing little kids to play football.
2. Last time you kissed someone?
About three days ago? I kissed Randy. On the mouth. *gasp*
3. What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
I'm not that innocent, much like Britney, except less trashtacular. I am glad to see she is busting out of the K-Fed Trailerpark Haven, though.
4. What color is your watch?
light blue and medium blue *shocks everyone*
5. Do you like anyone?
No. I hate you all.
6. Are you close to your mom?
Abnormally so. Someday? Someday I will cut the cord.
7. Where do you work?
It's a beautiful Day at {Fabulous Golf Resort}; This is Lori, how may I direct your call? (Yes. I have to say that.)
8. What are you listening to right now?
the phone buzz, myself talk
9. What do you smell like?
lavender and chamomile
10. What color are your pants?
Black
11. Closest thing to your left?
a pen
12. What color is your bedroom flooring?
blue
13. Do you have a chair in your room?
yes
14. Time you were born?
7:19am
15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
no
16. What's your favorite number?
7
17. Do you know someone named Lori?
Yes! ME! WHAT ARE THE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDS?
18. What color is your mom's hair?
Brown, surprisingly enough. After what my brother and I have put her through, you'd think it would be white as snow...but nope. My dad is showing the strain of raising two ungrateful brats with a thinning head of very gray hair sprinkled liberally with white. I know you didn't ask about my dad's hair, but I told you anyway. Deal.
19. Do you have a dog?
No. they are too high-maintenance, and I am a child.
20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
Oh, Lord. Too many. Too embarrassing.
21. When was the last time you went swimming?
Sigh. July? I was so depressed I wanted to drown myself. My parents were fools for letting me get in the water.
22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
Yesterday? The day before? He called me at work to ask me if I like fish. Because he's a tard.
23. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
um...does bible school count? Otherwise...no.
24. Do you play an instrument?
My voice is the only instrument I need. WOOTLE.
25. Do you like fire?
FIAAAAAAH. Yes.
26. Are you allergic to anything?
MOLD. Ebonics. The word "Your" used when the person really means "You're."
27. When was the last time you cried?
Last week while I was telling my mom about the appointment with my therapist and some really, really personal stuff I cannot share here. Otherwise, CYMBALTA ROCKS.
29. Have you ever been to a spa?
Heh, I work at one, dude.
30. Did you take science all four years of high school?
High school was 84 frillion years ago and I do not remember.
31. Do you like butterflies?
Second only to dragonflies/damselflies
33. What is one thing you miss about your past?
If you know me fairly well, then you know
34. Have you ever seen the school counselor?
Yeah, every year for the shejules.
35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
I was one. I always wanted to be one. Now....not so much. Um...yeah, no.
36. What is one thing you have learned about life?
It's not fair, and sometimes you have to do things you really don't want to do. That's two, but I was never good at following directions.
37. Are you jealous of anyone?
not right now
38. Is anyone jealous of you?
no clue
39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
No, but if I ever am, I will punch the little button and sit down and read a book. I ALWAYS carry a book. You just never know.
40. What does your dad call you?
hey you
41. What does your mom call you?
Liz
42. What does you hair look like right now?
horrid, as always
43. Has a friend ever used you?
I suppose, but I basically ask for it.
44. Has anyone recently told you that they like you more than as a friend?
Yes, just after P.E. I was like, whoa. I told Kath, I was like, dude, I don't wanna fuck up the friendship! Plus, like, sometimes he is, like, TOTALLY lame. And also, I heard he's, like, a bad kisser.
45. What have you eaten today?
Sandwiches. Ooooh! And a muffin. And banana bread. Working at a hotel rocks.
46. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Somebody who wanted to be transferred to the spa salon. I obliged.
47. What is your favorite movie?
It changes every year or so...right now it's "She's the Man" because Amanda Bynes is just so cute I want to put her in my pocket and take her home with me.
48. Who was the last person who texted you???
First of all, why the three question marks? Are you very, very concerned about the answer to this query, o strange survey-maker?
Second of all, and to answer the BURNING QUESTION...hrm. Lemme check. It's from Katherine, who said, "Wow your text message just came through" after well over a day. Because Cingular sucks my big toe, that's why.
49. What are you not looking forward to?
Sitting here for the next hour and a half. Training at the front desk on Sunday. Blargh.
50. How are you today?
I guess I'm all right. My back hurts, though. Wah.
Survey DOS:
1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I disintigrated part of a bone in my leg and had to get a plate and screws. Woot! In another, rusty barbed wire tore a chunk out of my ankle.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
An approximately 70-year-old picture of my grandmother at 16 in her prom dress, and a painting of my mother in her wedding attire. What? I don't have sex in there so it doesn't freaking matter.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
black and silver
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
anything but rap, hip hop, olden-days country (blargh), or anybody who does vocal gymnastics, because it sounds really stupid to add fourteen syllables to a three-syllable word. Just sayin'.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
7:19am
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
to weigh 150 pounds with no excess skin.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Jeebies! I just answered these. Cripes. Okay, I miss "Friends." There.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
my bed. it is the most beautiful bed in the world, and the most comfortablest--proof being that I overslept this morning and I didn't even really care, because I got an extra 30 minutes in my bed.
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Christmastime.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
very
11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
no. The dark is your friend, unless you are reading a scary book. Then, yes. And much like Joey Tribbiani, you must put said book in the freezer to keep yourself safe (speaking of Friends).
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
anything lavender
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I definitely like hair. I am almost abnormally attracted to men who have well-kept, long-ish hair but who are not grody or dressed funny. I like anything but stupid hairstyles, really. Like, no dreadlocks, please don't give yourself a mohawk, and don't torture the rest of us with your mullet.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
Oy. The grammar here is so bad I can't answer this question.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
coffee. COFFEE. COFFEE IS THE BEST DRINK IN THE WOOOOOOORLD, and don't you dare argue with me, I will slap your face!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Cheese. It is not pizza without cheese
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
OH THIS IS NOT A FAIR QUESTION FOR A FOOD ADDICT. Jeezy creezy.
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
I don't like to make anyone mad, so I try reeeeeeeeeeeeally hard not to. Therefore, I don't know. How could you be mad at me? What did I do to deserve this? I am an ANGEL.
Seriously, probably my mom. She gets mad at me a lot, because she's a neat freak and I'm ...well, not.
20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
I speak the language of the insane. Join me.
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX):
I don't remember. I'm old. I remember the first gift Randy ever gave me was a rose, and that was nearly ten years ago, so I am going to call that good enough.
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Lord, with all the repeated questions. I like...cheese. He rocks my socks.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
nope
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I like clothes that don't hurt me and cover all my wobbly bits and that are not pink, orange, red, or yellow. Other than that I'm usually okay with whatever.
25. WHAT`S YOUR DREAM CAR?
A French Blue Ford Explorer SportTrac. They don't exist in that color. Thank you.
27. WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR DREAMS?
Having a fabulous husband who loves me more than anyone in the world and then having a family with him. At this point, I don't think it will ever happen, mostly because I have a lot of issues to resolve and a lot of weight to lose first.
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Say it, then show it.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
77
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
I do not care. At all. Not one little tiny bit.
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
Randy's cell phone
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
The telephone. Jesus God, please make it stop.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US?
nope
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Almost anything that is bad for you. I am destined to live a long, healthy life, yes?
36. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
Santa Fe, NM...but I'm good with Austin.
37. FIRST JOB?
Daytime nanny for five kids. It almost killed me and I learned a lot.
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
no, am chicken
39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
Another survey, and answering five badrillion phone calls
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
lap band, nose job, chin implant---then tummy tuck, breast reduction/lift
Why, no, I haven't thought about it...why do you ask?
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Katherine sent it to me at work b/c I am bored
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
eyes
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Take more klonopin
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I want something I can't have, and that is the sad, sad truth.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
Up to three...but I'd be happy with one
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, my great-grandmother Laura
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Only when they're shooting
48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Oh my God. Random.
49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
last week I already said this GODDAMN
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
yes
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Roast beef, but I am not crazy about lunchmeat. The ham lunchmeat with the globules of weird translucent shiny stuff makes me gag.
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
HAH AH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
I am proud (PROUD I TELL YOU) of ALL of my CDs, thank you.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yep
55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
Yes, but I don't do that anymore because I growed up 'n' stuff.
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Yes, though I wish they didn't.
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Cry, write vituperative essays on my blog, write mean letters that I don't send and then find years later and get mad again
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
my father's family's lakehouse on Lake Travis
59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
nope
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I am 31. We didn't have toys back then. I played with sticks in the grass.
61. WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE NUMBERS IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Mom, Randy, Kath
62. EVER BEEN ACCUSED OF HAVING ROAD RAGE?
My mother has accused me of such, but I like to think of it as driving aggressively, because my mom's a backseat driver...just ask my dad, he's still indignant that she honked his horn for him once when someone cut him off; and no, that is not a euphemism for "my parents had sex in the car"--ew.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Only every day of my life, I could not communicate effectively without it.
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
No, that's skareeeeee. I might bonk my head.
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
A firm, round ass.
Just kidding. WHO CARES? There is no accounting for chemistry. I could fall deeply in lust tomorrow with someone I described as being unattractive today.
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Liz, Beth, Lorelei, Aunt Sweetie...those are the current ones. Old ones include Lollypop (don't ask), Lizabelle/Loreye (hi Chad), and Lori-lu (hi Debbie). The newest one is Loriella (hi Katarina).
68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nope
69. WHO IS YOUR CRUSH?
John Corbett, 5-10 years ago. He is a little unfortunate-looking now.
70. WHAT`S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
I am very particular. Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla.
71. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE?
Last week. Then I put out afterwards.
72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? french blue, lavender, sage green
73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW?
none. they all gone. I had de surergery.
74. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
HUGE SIGH. WTF WITH THE REPEAT QUESTIONS.
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Yes. EVERYONE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. HOP TO.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the phone buzzing, the voices in my head
77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
a granola bar
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Somebody who asked for the Crenshaw pro shop. I must admit, it was a scintillating conversation.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
It depends on the person. If he had bright pink eyebrows, I'd notice that first.
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
chasing cars
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE:
my ex-principal, that miserable bitch
82. FAVORITE DRINK?
A frosty glass of icy Diet Pepsi would hit the spot for me quite nicely, thank you.
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
taurus (of course!)
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
football
85. HAIR COLOR?
brown
86. EYE COLOR?
green
87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
no
88. SIBLINGS?
1
89. FAVORITE MONTH?
December
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
oh, gag
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
The Skeleton Key
92. FAV DAY OF THE YEAR?
I don't have a favorite day, but I have a favorite time, and that would be CHRISTMAS. The day is unimportant, but from around December 15 through the new year, I am five kinds of SQUEE! It's like I'm still six.
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
anyone but Randy
94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
winter Winter WINTER
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
I like both, if I know you pretty well. I like kisses only from those I know very, very well. If I don't know you, get your lips the fuck away from my face.
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships. I have never had a one-night stand. I have had a three-week-stand, back when I was a hussy. Does that count?
97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
How in the blue fuck should I know?
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
again
99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Right now I am reading Haunting Olivia. It's mediocre.
100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Probably not. Maybe Randy is. Hi, Randy! I love you!
posted by Lori at
6:06 PM
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